I just turned 18 years old, so because I am entering this new and exciting chapter of adulthood, I wanted to take some time to look back on what the last chapters have taught me. I am by no means an expert on life, and I know there are still numerous things I have yet to learn, but these are some of the things I have identified as important throughout my own journey. I hope these insights can also help you in your own unique journey, no matter what stage of life you may be in.
1. You can’t control everything, but it’s your choice to change the things you can.
The perfectionist in me always seeks to have control over the situations I find myself in, but I’ve learned this only leads to unnecessary stress. I cannot control every situation, and there is peace in coming to terms with that. You do have control over a lot of circumstances though, and in those cases, it is your choice and sometimes even your duty to change the things that aren’t right. Essentially, make peace with the things that are out of your control, and make a change in the things that you are able.
2. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
This is something I didn’t fully learn until this year. I’ve always seen myself as a very independent person, so I used to view asking for help as a sign that I couldn’t handle something on my own. I’ve realized, however, that asking for help does not show vulnerability; it shows courage. No one can do everything, but everyone can do something. Let people help you with what they’re good at, and value what you learn through those opportunities.
3. Surround yourself with people who push and inspire you.
The best friends are the ones who aren’t afraid to tell you what you need to hear. They’re the ones that you may view as smarter or stronger or more creative because they push you to become who you aspire to be. They value your own goals and take it upon themselves to help you achieve them. When you find a friend like this, treasure them and don’t ever let them go.
4. Find a hobby that also gets you closer to where you want to be.
This one is best explained with a personal example. I am an aspiring entrepreneur and want to start my own business someday. Blogging is a hobby and creative outlet for me, but it is also giving me experience with web, design, and social media, which are all things that are going to help with this dream of mine in the future.
5. Remind yourself of your goals every single day.
The more you think about your dreams, the more relentless you will be in pursuit of them. It strengthens your conviction and causes you to start thinking about what you can do each day to get closer to reaching them. But don’t just think about them; tell yourself you can achieve them. The more you hear something, the more likely you are to believe it. The more you believe in something, the better the odds it will reach fulfillment.
6. Always find something to look forward to.
I think this one is incredibly important because if you don’t always have something to get excited about, it’s really easy to just go through the motions of life. It doesn’t have to be anything super huge. It could be the bowl of ice cream you are going to eat while watching T.V. It could be the bath you are going to take after a long day. The point is, find something that puts a smile on your face that you can turn to whenever things get hard or unbearable.
7. Take a walk.
One of the most powerful remedies for a lack of creativity, motivation, and passion is a change of scenery. I don’t know what it is, but getting out of your typical surroundings and exposing yourself to new sights and sounds really opens up your mind and refreshes the soul. This tip never fails to be a lifesaver for me.
8. Journal about it.
The first thing I do at the end of a trip or impactful experience is journal about it. It not only preserves the minute details that often go forgotten over time, but it also captures the feelings and thoughts you experience at those moments. Going back to read these entries is so refreshing, and it also helps you to see how much you have changed and grown as a person throughout the years.
9. If you ever get caught wishing someone would reach out to you, quit waiting and reach out to them.
This one is becoming more and more apparent to me the more change I encounter and the more friends I have that move away. Keeping in touch is hard. In fact, it’s one of the things I have great difficulty with. I find myself wishing a certain person would reach out to me to see how I’m doing or find myself wanting to hear about their life, but I struggle with initiating it. I’ve now realized that person may be thinking that very same thing. I’ve never once regretted reaching out to someone, but I have regretted not doing so.
10. Always be looking for new friendships, but at the same time learn to maintain the old.
This is sometimes a difficult balance, but I believe it is crucial to living a truly fulfilling life with sound relationships. You don’t want to be so content with current friendships that you shut out potential people from ever getting close, but at the same time you don’t want to lose sight of the friends who have always been there for you in the pursuit of others. In the end it comes down to being open to new people, but being disciplined and caring enough to make time for old friends.
11. Handmade gifts and handwritten notes mean the most.
This may just be a personal preference, but I know when I receive a gift from one of my friends that they personally made, it means so much more to me. There’s something about knowing that person took the time to craft something one of a kind for you. I know I always have fun making gifts for people, and often it is cheaper than purchasing a gift anyways. I’m also a little old-fashioned when it comes to handwritten notes and messages. I always keep impactful letters and cards from people because they are a great thing to go back to when you are going through a rough time.
12. Mentors are the most valuable resource you will find.
As I mentioned before, I am very independent when it comes to learning, but this past summer I had the opportunity to encounter several mentors through an internship. That experience completely turned around my views on learning, and I now greatly value those mentors. I realized how invaluable it is to have somebody who has experienced what you are going through because they can help you firsthand. Not only that, but you know they want what is best for you because they are helping you purely out of the goodness of their hearts. If you don’t already have a mentor, I highly recommend seeking one out in whatever area you are pursuing, whether for school or a hobby like design or photography. If you are fortunate enough to have a really great mentor, hold onto that person, as I plan on doing.
13. Respect the time of others.
One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone does not respect another person’s time either by being late or canceling plans last minute. Of course I understand certain situations where unexpected things come up that can’t be avoided, but it’s the times without good reason that really get to me. Maybe it’s because I make it a priority to always be on time, so when I make plans with someone, I expect them to respect that time commitment. In short, show people you value them by respecting their time.
14. React with results.
Criticism is unfortunately a consistent and perfectly normal part of life. Hopefully most of the time it is constructive, but often times it can be purely ill thought-out or rude. In both cases, instead of getting all worked up and upset, respond with actions. Show the person how amazing and worthy of praise you are. Show them they are unable to get to you. Show them you are strong and should be respected. Actions speak louder than words, and in this situation, it is especially true.
15. Work harder and longer than everybody else.
Success is coveted, and everybody seeks to attain it. Anything worthwhile requires a relentless mindset towards the end goal. I aspire to start my own business and am fully aware of the long days and sleepless nights ahead, but I understand it is just a part of the process I have to go through to get where I want to be.
16. Everything happens for a reason.
I have always been a firm believer in this mantra because in hindsight, every situation has a way of working itself out. It either makes me a stronger person, or I learn something valuable. The point is, it has a purpose for me and where I am headed. So when things aren’t quite seeming to add up, just push through and know there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
17. Stop planning, and start doing.
This is something I still struggle with even though I know how important it is. I happen to be an extremely organized person, so I can often get caught up in over-planning. The perfectionist in me kicks in and then nothing ever seems good enough. I’m learning now, however, that nothing will ever be perfect. You just have to start doing because the act of beginning the process is what is going to help you grow and learn the most. At the same time, it also crucial to take time to reflect on your actions and their repercussions. Otherwise, it is easy to get caught up in blindly moving forward in what may be the wrong direction.
18. It’s okay not to know…
I often struggle with feeling like I have to have everything in my life figured out, but uncertainty isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Often it allows you to be open to new opportunities that you otherwise would have strayed away from. As long as you are prepared to put in the work, passion, and dedication to whatever you decide to direct your efforts towards, it’s alright not knowing what the future holds. Keep finding inspiration in life, and don’t be afraid to live it out.
