I’m finally 21!! As the last of my friends to turn 21, I can honestly say I’ve been counting down this day for a while now. It has also made me stop and reflect on just how far I’ve come and how much life has taught me so far. So in the spirit of turning 21, here are are 21 things I’ve learned (in no particular order). Let me know in the comments which one resonates most with you!
1. Trust your gut
Every time I have ignored that feeling deep down in my gut, I’ve made a decision I ended up regretting. On the flip side, listening to my gut has never led me astray. Don’t get me wrong, I still list out pros and cons and get input from people I trust to help evaluate any decision I make. At the end of the day though, I’ve learned I know myself better than anyone else and that’s why I always try to listen to what my gut is telling me.
2. Perfection does not exist
Perfectionism is something I have battled my entire life. I still wrestle with it sometimes, but I’m definitely better about catching myself in the act. Done is better than perfect, and I’ll just leave it at that. I have a whole podcast episode where I share my insight and experience with perfectionism, so check that out if you’re interested:
3. You become like the people you surround yourself with
Throughout my college years, I’ve encountered a few different negative people. I thought they couldn’t possible influence my positive outlook, but being around those people took a toll on me little by little. Thankfully, I was able to distance myself before too much damage was done, and I instead started seeking out more positive and motivated individuals. It made the world of a difference. Negative people often look to bring others down to their level. Positive people want to bring others up. Where do you want to be?
4. Gratitude is the key to happiness
I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve fallen under the illusion of attaching my happiness to some future event or situation thinking I’ll be happy when I reach it. I would think things like “I’ll be happy once the weekend begins” or “I’ll be happy when I study abroad and travel.” But then I get there and realize I am the exact same person as I was waiting to get there. I know it sounds obvious, but it wasn’t until I learned to sit and appreciate the little things in each day that I truly started experiencing true peace and happiness.
5. Comparison hinders progress
Comparison is a trap. It prevents you from trying new things, it makes you doubt your uniqueness, and it limits your untapped potential. Sure, it can be good to look to others for inspiration and guidance, but there needs to be a healthy dose of it. It’s important to take time to discover yourself and what makes you unique because no one else is exactly like you. THAT is your strength.
6. No amount of money will make you feel fulfilled
I’ll be honest, during my first internship I was making a good amount of money. It was a technology internship after all. However, I was not excited about the company and the day-to-day job was draining. From that moment on, I knew working with people I loved and doing a job that inspired me was way more important than the number on my paycheck.
7. Everything is temporary, both good and bad
When times are good, live in the moment and appreciate them because they will pass. Similarly, when times are bad remind yourself that better days are ahead. Nothing is permanent, everything is passing, and tomorrow is always a new day. It always helps to put things in perspective.
8. Helping others is one of the best ways to get out of a rut
Sometimes when we get in a rut, it’s because we are focusing too much on ourselves. When if feels like everything is going wrong, it can be easy to dwell on it and pity ourselves. Helping someone else, however, shifts the focus away from ourselves and onto someone else. By giving our time and talent, it’s also easier to rediscover an appreciation for what we do have.
9. Experience is the best teacher
Attending school, reading a book, or listening to a podcast can only teach you so much. It isn’t until you get out and actually try something for yourself that you can truly discover what you like and are good at. Like me, you might love something in school and then do an internship and discover it is not for you. That’s why you have to see for yourself and be willing to pivot and adapt if it doesn’t work out.
10. Finding out what you don’t want to do is just as valuable as discovering what you like to do
I used to think if I tried something I didn’t like, it was a huge waste of time. I’ve since realized that each time I discover something I don’t like, it reorients me closer to what it is I do want to do. Finding your purpose takes time, so don’t be quick to discount experiences that didn’t turn out how you wanted.
11. Starting is the hardest part
The perfectionist in me procrastinates starting anything unless I feel totally prepared or have all the answers, but I’ve learned I will never be fully prepared for anything. There’s always going to be an element of unknown. It’s better to just start and learn as you go than put something off and never try it at all.
12. Be your own biggest advocate
Don’t be afraid to tell people what you want in your life, career, and relationships. I’ve figured out if you aren’t vocal about what you want, how can you expect other people to know? They can’t read your mind. On the other hand, if you state what’s important to you and what your goals are, you’d be surprised how willing most people are to help you get there. You never know unless you ask.
This post is in podcast form too! Check it out here:
13. Evaluate people based on their actions rather than words
I’m sure we all know people who always say they are going to do things but never actually follow through. Sure, everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect, but if it’s a pattern than you may want to reevaluate that person’s place in your life. I’m grateful because my closest friends now are the people who follow through when they tell me something. That hasn’t always been the case though. It’s never too late to make new friends.
14. Slow and steady wins the race
I personally think our culture has become more and more susceptible to the need for instant gratification. When things get hard, it’s easy to feel like things aren’t meant to be, but a breakthrough is often right around the corner the minute things starting getting most difficult. Growth and progress doesn’t happen overnight. Perseverance and incremental progress is going to get you where you want to go.
15. Take a deep breathe
Life gets crazy. I get it. Things sometimes feel like they are speeding by at a hundred miles per hour. In those moments, I’ve learned to remind myself to take a deep breathe, say a quick prayer, and know that whatever is going on, I’ll get through it. And I do. And you will too.
16. Nothing productive comes from worrying
I heard somewhere that worrying doesn’t change anything about the future, it just robs you of peace in the present. That really stuck with me. When I start to worry, I remind myself that worrying isn’t going to do anything. I instead try to get my mind on something else or talk through it with someone I trust.
17. Failure isn’t bad as long as you learn from it
I’ve read about the lives of countless successful people, and there is a common thread among them all: they all say they’ve learned the most from their failures not their successes. As long as you learn from an experience, it’s not a waste. It makes you stronger, and it makes success that much sweeter when it does come.
18. Self-discipline is the key to true freedom
Freedom isn’t about being able to do whatever you want whenever you want to do it. It’s about being able to have the self-discipline to choose what is best for yourself in the long term and not just in the moment. Constantly giving into fleeting temptations only ends up enslaving you to your desires. Having self-discipline sets you free to become the best version of yourself.
19. Trust is a choice
This one is a little more spiritual for me, but I’ve come to realize that trusting in God is not a feeling. It’s a choice. It’s not always easy, but I believe that God has a plan for me and everything happens for a reason even if I don’t understand why in the moment. In those moments, I need to remind myself to choose trust over fear.
20. There’s not one “right” answer to most decisions
In school, I feel like we’re always taught there is one “right” answer or way to do something. But I’ve realized that life isn’t a multiple choice or true false question. It’s a lot more nuanced, and there are so many factors at play that change as time goes on. A decision you made a year ago may no longer be the best thing for you today and that’s okay. Life isn’t always black and white. As long as you keep what’s truly important to you at the center of your life, I believe you’ll eventually end up where you’re meant to be.
21. Time is the ultimate gift
The older I get, the more this one rings true for me. Time with family, friends, or someone in a career that interests me is priceless. Especially now that I don’t live in the same city as my family or some of my close friends, it makes me appreciate the time I do have with them that much more. We all have the same number of hours in a day, so when someone gives me their time I’ve learned to appreciate just how valuable that is.
